A list of habits that will make you more likeable
This is part of the “Wellness Wheel Habits Checklist” series where I look at habits associated with the 6 areas of life (Occupational, Physical, Emotional, Social, Financial and Spiritual).
Who doesn’t want to be well-liked?
You might think that some people are born more likeable than others. But what if there were a few simple habits that you could adopt that would transform your likeability.
Good news, here’s a list of 12 habits that will make people gravitate towards you.
1. Neutralize Negative Thoughts
Thinking negatively of others doesn’t help you at all. So develop the habit that whenever you have a negative thought about someone, immediately counteract it with something positive.
Negative thought: If it comes to a fight over the corner office, I can imagine Brittany would be ready to kill me.
Neutralizing Positive thought: Brittany’s hair has good volume.
Smile more. It makes you and others feel better. Unless you live in Russia, where they have a saying that “laughing for no reason is a sign of stupidity”.
3. Simple Courtesy
Simple manners go a long way. For instance, saying “please”, “thank you”, “sorry for stepping on your foot with my eight inch heels”, holding the door for others and standing when another person enters the room grease the wheels of social interaction and make you more likeable.
Also, not checking your phone while standing right in front of someone who is trying to talk to you is a good one.
4. Don’t speak ill of others
A great thing to work on is becoming the sort of person who doesn’t speak badly of others.
Although it might be the easiest thing to join in on the bitching session about Carol from marketing’s body odour and / or piercings, know that each time you do, you’re being a terrible person and eroding your peace of mind.
5. Do what you say you will do
People trust people who always do what they say will do. This is a key component of integrity. And when you look around, you’ll see that so FEW people live this way. Equally, you feel much more self-confident, when you always follow through on what you said you would do.
You may have heard of the saying:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die
Do a favor to YOURSELF and each day and forgive someone. It could be a high school friend who betrayed you, an accomplice from your ill-fated heist of Nakatome Plaza, or someone who intentionally poured a macchiato over your laptop this morning. Forgive them and free up your mind and soul for better things.
7. Tell people something that you appreciate about them
It’s always good to let the people know what you appreciate about them. It doesn’t have to be something profound or life-changing. Even small things are good.
Good example: “I appreciated it the other day when you reminded me to take an umbrella and then it rained”
Bad example: “I appreciated it the other day when you finally did the dishes, even though you live here just like me and so you should be just as invested in the cleanliness of our environment, and you’re not actually doing me a favor, but just pulling your weight”
8. Always assume the best intentions of people
It’s often easy to jump to the worst possible interpretation of someone’s behavior. But this is frankly exhausting. Why not just assume the best? Don’t be naive about it (and be taken advantage of) but equally don’t leap to the worst conclusion. For example, when Sven stabbed you in the back, maybe he wasn’t specifically stabbing you. He would have stabbed anyone to get what he wanted.
Each day give something to someone. It doesn’t have to be money, gold bullion, or courtside tickets. It can be something as simple as wishing someone well. (Don’t mention that you were considering courtside tickets before settling on the well wishes)
Giving makes you feel abundant
10. Commit random acts of kindness
Do nice things for people whenever you get the chance. Hold the door, hand out free breath mints, pay for someone’s Starbucks order, throw dollar bills from the balcony of a fifth story apartment.
11. Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy. But it’s actually very difficult to accurately compare yourself to anyone. No one has figured out a system to rank different people’s lives.
Is the billionaire with the wrecked marriage and alienated children happier than the soon-to-be sacked dockworker with the doting family who also happens to be a serial killer (the good kind – like Dexter)?
Also, you don’t know the reality of anyone’s situation. How many marriages collapsed because they thought they hadn’t achieved the perfection of Brangelina? (One? Two? I have no idea, just speculating).
12. Pause before speaking
Maybe you’re like me and you talk too much. People who talk too much often end up saying the wrong things.
To reduce the chance of un-needed awkwardness (and being told off by your partner), before you’re about to say something clever, pause, then pause again and then pause once more and then don’t say anything.
So how many of these likeability habits do you have? Which one do you think could make the biggest difference in your life? Pick one habit and focus on introducing that in your life. You’ll be thrilled at the impact it could make to your life.
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